I
love weddings, I really do but sometimes I hate attending most of them because
the planning is just off. The mammoth crowd is stifling; the roadside onlookers
stare is piercing making you tighten your grip on your clutch, the sitting
arrangement is terrible, and the food non-existent. As a result, you can’t even
wait to drop your gift and hurry out. I really do not want to sound like a
professional or anything similar, but I would like to share my experience on
this issue. It’s nothing compared to Katherine Heigl’s "27 dresses" movie. Gee! If one were to amass that amount of bridesmaid dresses in a short time were a
job, what would we call it?
Recently,
my mum and I recounted my bridesmaid journey from the time I had been of being
a flower girl at age 8 to every other one, I had been terribly sick on each one
of them, except my brother’s. It was always very hard to tell.
In fact, on one occasion, I had to run out of the church before the procession
resumed again to buy a soft drink from a roadside vendor because I was so close
to collapsing.
Still, I managed to walk and dance under the sun!
Here is a recent
experience of mine.
In
my neighborhood, we are like a family, very friendly, inter woven but not
without drama. Sometimes it is just like Wisteria lane in Desperate Housewives,
but it can be fun. Last year, in the month of January, we lost a dear neighbor;
he was the chairman of the Association of Landlords before he took ill for a
few years. He was such a
pleasant man and we didn't even know he had two daughters in the UK until they visited for the burial. Dr. Ife is a
sweet young woman, just like her family, so to hear that she was getting married
was exciting news.
I
fantasized about how I was going to eat so much food and sneak out of the venue
(I am so not a party freak, I just pretend), only for my mum to inform me that
I had been selected as one of the bridesmaids and I should make available for
the fitting of the dress. I was shocked.
First, I wasn’t that close to the bride, secondly, my plans of eating and
sneaking out were destroyed! .
As the days drew nearer, my relationship with
the bride had grown fonder. On the
day of the traditional wedding, as is done in Africa, the friends of the bride
would walk in front of the bride as she is introduced to her husband and
husband’s people. As we were about approaching with the bride dancing rhythmically,
her veil suddenly slipped off!! But thank God the ‘friends’ were up to the
task.
8 pm Friday evening: We
had to go to the church to do the wedding rehearsal. Really, I was wondering
what we needed a rehearsal for. Is it not just to wear a dress, hold a bouquet and
walk behind the bride? But the priest thought otherwise. entrance We were bone-tired by the time we were done. On getting home, we realized that all our gowns were terribly creased. The clothes had to be ironed at my house and due to the kind
of material the dress was made of, a lot of energy was expended in removing all
the creases.
3 am Saturday morning: After
arguing on how to remove the creases from the clothes We finished ironing all the gowns. I slept
off half way through, Only to be woken by the doorbell by my fellow bridesmaids at 5 am.
The bride’s ensemble was exquisite, her gown, shoes,
jewelry, tiara, veil and most of all the bouquet was eye-catching. At first, I thought
they were artificial. in a few words, The wedding was lovely. Throwing the bouquet is
one of the high points of most weddings, as everyone wants to see who the next
bride becomes, or whose house the amala or rice will be served next( depending
on your state of mind). So ladies hustle
to try to catch it, but I have a different view, it could be used as decoration
in your home. No?
Since I was busy walking here and there on one errand or the other, the Master of ceremony (MC)
caught my hand and told me to gather the entire friend’s of the bride behind
the bride. The thought of that extra errand made my feet wider in my heels. As we all assembled behind her, all I could think was
how attractive the bouquet was, not minding what the girl next to me was
saying. So as the bride threw the bouquet, you could feel the suspense around
when the bouquet landed…
The truth is it is someone’s happy day, don’t
spoil it by wearing a ‘recession’ frown on your face, because the couple will watch the video one day and your face could make them
wonder what they or someone else did wrong to you.
So, as a result, I am going to be giving seven
tips on what to do and what not to do as a bridesmaid on someone’s special day.
1.
SMILE: We know there are many reasons to
frown; I assure you there will be. Whether it is the zip, belt or strap of your
shoe or gown that suddenly snapped, or the bride/bridezilla’s sharp snap at you
or the fact that one of the groom’s men won’t stop asking you for your pin or
phone number or worse still, his dry jokes (Ugh!), we know. Or maybe that is
the day your menstrual cramp decides to heighten. Just take one for the bride
and smile for her sake or maybe yours too. It can be very depressing to look at
your train as a bride and see terrorist bridesmaids.
2.
LOOK YOUR BEST: whatever you can do to
improve your looks before that day do it. Whether it is to exfoliate, some
mani-pedi, waxing, spa treatments (if you can afford it), or a good hair
treatment/style it is totally worth it. I have noticed some brides who even
forget themselves and begin to rearrange the bridesmaid’s dress and jewelry. It
is always funny and humbling to look at. It just tells us that one of the
prides of the bride is her train. The train is one of the bride’s accessories.
3.
GET PREPARED: it’s not your wedding
though, but it’s your friend’s (definitely not your enemy’s). So if you need
your dress, underwear or shoe adjusted, do that days before. If you are
strangely prone to falling sick (like me sometimes) on days like these, do
preventive measures. Google or better still your doctor could help you with
this.
4.
HELP WHERE YOU CAN: Planning a wedding
is not easy; sometimes the bride’s mind is torn between several places at the
same time, so taking a few responsibilities here and there is very important.
Whether on the D-day or days before that, a little help here and there eases
the burden. Remember, your own day will come, even if you will be going into
the convent, help for Christ’s or love’s sake.
5.
BE FRIENDLY: This is very important
because you are probably seeing the other girls for the first time. This is not
the time to raise your nose in the air and bring your bitchy attitude, flaunt
your assets and belittle others. The ladies I worked with were wonderful and
some were even older than I. We were just like sisters.
6.
DANCE AND BE STILL WHEN YOU SHOULD:
there is no need to compete with the letter ‘I’ on who is straightest and there
is definitely no need to be hyper active. You never know whether there is a (National
Drug Law Enforcement Agency) NDLEA official around.
7. PRAY: Last but not least, it is
important to say a word of prayer for the couple, the event, the guests, the
parents everything. It is important.
So guess who caught the
bouquet…….yours truly!!!
Natural, cute and sweet-smelling flowers, I was hoping they were artificial, so they would last longer.
It got me thinking
anyway that I could get a job in the Female National team (The Falcons) as a
goalkeeper just like Vincent Enyeama, win a much coveted cup and collect
millions of naira from Mike Adenuga and Aliko Dangote. All I need to do is imagine
each football coming my way is a bouquet because the leap I did for that
bouquet shocked me. Hmmm!!! Peeps, I guess I have found a new
career. (LOL)
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| This is the jump.....yeah I know |
Till we meet again
Yours faithfully,
Anosime (@AnosimeI)
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