What Do You Mean?

*Clears cyber cobwebs* I know it’s been a while -in blog world that’s like for eternity- I have been here. Sometimes, life happens and you just have to take some time off.  I have been getting feedback on some of my blog posts, requests to write more and questions about why I stopped blogging.
Y'all put the smile on my face, thank you so much. I am dedicating this post to Damilol Adewunmi (I wonder where the 'a' in your name went to.  Lol. Appreciate you). This post has been swimming in my head for a long time, so I’ll just get to it.

                                                              ******

After a long day at work, the time comes to head home. The traffic at this time is so not in your favor, you manage to get the ever uncomfortable front seat of a keke Napep to transport you home. Not because you cannot trek but because you are bone tired from all stress at work.

 Finally, you get to your house, only to be ambushed by your very excited neighbour’s children who totally disregard the look of tiredness and boredom written all over you and begin to tell you stories you have absolutely no idea about.

“Abdul has moved to another school”, said the dark chubby girl “That school is better than the other one, but it’s the same thing they teach them in that one that they teach in this one”

“She beat me, Tola beat me”, said dark, tiny twig-wielding, wide-eyed cute boy. 

At this point one is confused. You manage a smile, before you could think of a reply, dark chubby girl brings up another topic. Something about why and how they dry Ram skins. You manage to wriggle your way out of their midst after series of unanswered prayers of them finding you boring and walking away. 

You finally get to your house only to see that you didn’t put off the inverter before you left the house. You know its just a few minutes of power left  before that unsettling beep sound. The image of your mai-guard using your electricity for his constantly loud  radio station and also for the community service of charging his numerous friend's rechargeable lamps comes to your head. 

“Noooooooo!”

You hear your phone beep- a ping from a contact- finally some distraction. Only to check your phone and see this

Person: “i…”

Me: *waits* “Is this a code?” … *continues to wait* “or is this the first letter Money Grant code or something?”

Person: “xup, Ayam grtg U nd U nt rplyng”

Sweet Lord! Wait is what that was!!! Is this a joke?

Just when you are about to reply you hear a knock on the door it’s the mai-guard

“Madam, I don buy puel com, make I po’ am”   You know you didn’t send him on any errand because you are broke and he bought the fuel on his own volition. Then you remember he probably knows the inverter should be dead in a few minutes time because he used up the power. By this time your sarcasm is through the roof, far worse than Becker’s. You tell him you don’t have money.   “No foblem” is his reply.  

You make a mental note not to touch the petrol, so you can easily return it if cash doesn't show (The mosquitoes at night change your mind) *sigh* Dude can’t even imagine staying the night without power.

The ‘conversation’ continued

Person: “U dr”

Me: “Yeah”

Person: “Okies, ah dnt lyk such a fin lyk pipo nt answrng”

Person: “Wt iz wong wif U sef”

Me: “???”

Me: “Hi, Sorry I didn’t get you initially”

Honestly, you still don’t understand. Or did you offend this person?

Person: “KK”

Person: “Okies, Jez sayn  bai bai”

Me: “Thanks”

Person: “KKKK”

Seriously isn’t one K annoying enough?

By this time, the convo has already amplified your low key hunger-inspired, stress-related, center-originating headache.

You wonder why communication should be so hard. You also wonder "but this person is too fine to type like this nau".

*Sigh* Life is indeed beautiful.